do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
