Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
