i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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