If i come over, it means nothing
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
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