so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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