she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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