i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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