Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
