ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
