For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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