The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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