Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
