Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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