i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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