Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
