I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
