we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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