It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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