just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
