i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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