where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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