i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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