I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
