since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
