I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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