it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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