I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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