OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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