Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
