I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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