His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
