Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You ruined the universe
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
