I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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