You can't special order awesome
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
