Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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