im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Operation Purity has been aborted
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
