It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
