No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
