Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
