mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
