He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I've blown a few things in my day
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
