great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
