Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
