how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
