Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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