At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
