is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
