Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
