hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
