thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
